You Know You're a "City Slicker" When...

You have a riding lawn mower up on blocks in the back yard.
You have more locks on your apartment door then are floors for the building.
You color coordinate your pistol to match your purse and pumps.
You use "The Club" in your Yugo for spite.
"Parallel Parking" is a row of two or more buses at rush hour.
When you give building names instead of street addresses.
A concrete common is a park.
You look out of your office window and can't make out the street for at least two blocks.
You get lost on "the streets" because you only know the route through The Skyway System.
People give you directions through The Skyway System.
Being an asshole is a survival skill.
Your cars been parked in the same spot for three days because you don't want loose a good spot.
You hold corporate meetings in movie theaters.
You parked your car eight blocks away but use the elevator to go up one floor.
You have more pictures of your family in your cube then at home.
You own a four wheel that's never been on a dirt road.
Two way traffic frightens you.
Alfesco is in an atrium.
Your daughter's boyfriend turns out be a step nephew of your college roommates mother's first husband.
You see the tops of clouds from your office.
Can't sleep with out a siren sounding.
When you've heard too many "You know you're a Redneck when..." jokes.
Eating "American" is a treat.

Created: 1-May-1998, Last updated: 17-July-98

camilian since 1-May-1998

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